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Listening To Feedback.

Updated: Oct 15, 2023

Recently I wrote about listening and our automatic thinking and responses when listening.

I would now like to talk about listening when receiving feedback. You know the kind of feedback that makes you a little queasy, your hands sweaty and your heart race? I’m not talking about general public feedback, but from those people that are important to you whether work, family or friends.

business meeting

I intentionally asked someone close to me to give me feedback. The topic was specific and we have a long history together so we gave them plenty of time to talk. It takes courage to hear feedback, especially if the stakes seem high! The feedback I got was just as difficult to hear as I imagined, if not worse. I found myself going into my internal automatic thinking and reaction for about 12 hours after our talk. I initially thought, “they have their own issues, they aren’t innocent in this, there was a part they played” and on and on. Luckily, I noticed myself doing this and used the “STOP, LOOK, CHOOSE” method that I often teach to my clients. This method begins when you have a feeling other than positive or neutral and you take a breath, pause and consider how you really want to respond versus react. I decided to let my thoughts go to hear their experience and support them whether or not I agreed with all of the feedback. This was tough, but so valuable.

How many times has this happened on a small or larg scale in your life? It’s not easy to let go of these thoughts or feelings, yet if you are able to hear feedback from a positive intention, you can learn quite a bit about the speaker and even more about yourself. Just as you may want someone to understand you, we start first by gifting this to others, even if it is hard or uncomfortable.

In my practice I often hear people tell me, “I’d like to be the best version of myself”. In my humble opinion, listening to feedback is one way to reduce the behaviors that limit you and create more capacity for being the person you were always meant to be.

Message me here or at if you’d like support on how to apply this thinking to your life, workplace, or team. If you find this helpful feel free to repost.



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